Boundaries

A blank page waiting patiently for me. And a brain that’s not exactly quiet but also isn’t about to burst from within my skull and send bits of frantic, frenetic existential thoughts flying around my just-cleaned kitchen. A balanced middle-ground, even if achieved accidentally, is appreciated. I enjoy this moment. I draw a circle. Well,Continue reading “Boundaries”

Monday 3.22.21

❝It comes in waves. Which is nothing new. It just feels surprising at the moment. How quickly we forget our suffering (or maybe it’s just me; I don’t mean to speak for others). Though I guess it’s good to forget the pain and anxiety and depression. The internal chaos. The (rarely understood) tortured indecision paralysis. The explosive angerContinue reading “Monday 3.22.21”

– therapy homework –

We’re all born a relatively blank canvas. As our lives progress, we experience emotions that begin to color who we are. Now, it’s probably different for everybody; colors and what they represent to each individual can be very personal. But I was immediately colored pink with the effusive love of my family. I was coloredContinue reading “– therapy homework –”

from the archives: spilled ink

“Some people write to feel, some people write to heal, some write to remember, some to forget, some people even write to fall in love. I write to make sense of the incomprehensible chaos that saturates every fold and crevice within my brain and permeates through every part of the world outside of it. TheContinue reading “from the archives: spilled ink”

quote collecting + reflecting

i went through the drivethrough at starbucks this morning and got something more expensive than i thought. and it turned out the person in front of me paid for my order. the person behind me got something cheap, so i paid for the person behind them as well, to make it even. it was anContinue reading “quote collecting + reflecting”

I journal obsessively, whenever I can, wherever I can

I basically like, HAVE to. I have to get the words out, the thoughts out, the feelings out in a way that makes some semblance of sense. And the thing is that it’s usually always all confusing and messy, so I have to MAKE it make sense. Straight-up forging meaning out of nothing. Well, notContinue reading “I journal obsessively, whenever I can, wherever I can”

in-between

I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or not. I feel shitty. Mopey. But not depressed. The super fucking confusing to me. And upsetting. But it’s manageable. But it’s annoying and I don’t like it. But it isn’t paralyzing me. Why is existing still something I have to feel guilty about? I’m confused.Continue reading “in-between”

Emotional Alchemy…?

Today wasn’t a bad day. It just wasn’t good. I barely slept last night and I was anxious and there was nothing to do. The elements of a good day just weren’t there. As I sat at my kitchen table at 4:45 this morning (after I gave up trying to sleep and went ahead andContinue reading “Emotional Alchemy…?”

Today I’m grateful for…

✓ shade from trees that’s tinted orange and gold because autumn has turned the leaves burnt red and yellow, air that’s so crisp it gives you the feeling of biting into a juicy apple, boots and scarves and leather jacket outfits, old cartoons that still make me laugh, an organized bookshelf, beanie hats, that squeakyContinue reading “Today I’m grateful for…”