So for the class I’m taking, we have to share our narratives. Our stories, our struggles, our hopes.

We talked this morning about how powerful it is to be vulnerable and how it’s sometimes difficult. I felt a bit disconnected from the conversation because I’m usually able to be vulnerable very easily. At least with other people. I’m good at relating to other people. I’m an open book, I know that I’m worthyContinue reading “So for the class I’m taking, we have to share our narratives. Our stories, our struggles, our hopes.”

Three months.

It’s been three months since the psychiatric hospital. And it usually happens every three months. “It” being me losing my fucking mind. I feel it coming, just like I always do. I mean, I can handle it better now. I haven’t screamed, thrown myself into a wall, cut myself. But I’m too irritable to focus.Continue reading “Three months.”

Track Your Shit

Originally posted on lose your mind with me:
I sat on the couch in my psychiatrist’s office with my arms crossed and steam billowing out of my ears. “Are you on cocaine?” he asked without a hint of sarcasm.  “No,” I shot back, completely bewildered but appropriately defensive. “Then you’re bipolar.” Yup. That was how…

Halfway through Mental Health Awareness Month and I’ve barely posted anything specific about it. I feel like I totally should. Why not celebrate my mental illness (sounds like a weird thing but I meant more like, celebrate the fact that this month is supposed to highlight mental illnesses and how they affect people so moreContinue reading

A love letter to my lithium:

Dear Lithium: If I’m remembering correctly, people used you to stabilize their moods before they even realized you were the gold standard for doing so. Something to do with lithium mineral springs being used as treatment for “melancholia” by ancient Greeks/Romans. That’s pretty badass. I know I was worried about you at first (the wordContinue reading “A love letter to my lithium:”

Psycho Education: Things I Learned in the Psychiatric Hospital

I knew I needed to be hospitalized. I’ve known that for a while. Hell, I tried to get myself into a hospital prior to this, because I was desperate for some relief, and nothing happened. I guess it all accumulated for the past year or so, though. I went to my psychiatrist for a normalContinue reading “Psycho Education: Things I Learned in the Psychiatric Hospital”

quotes with my “morning” coffee

Bought this mug at Target yesterday bc reckless spending is how us bipolars cope right? But yeah, “morning vibes” at 3 in the fucking afternoon. Bc I’ve only just pulled it together. Other vibes to get honorable mentions: the “I got 4 hours of sleep last night bc I was sobbing too hard to calmContinue reading “quotes with my “morning” coffee”

Retire the roller coaster analogy. This bullshit is a storm during hurricane season, a tornado in the midwest. Sucks no matter how you analogize it, though.

The looming storm. Approaching apocalypse. Impending doom, though it’ll never really reach you. Will it? Forever in the distance, But close enough to drench you, Drag you, Overpower you. Gray, no –black. Devoid of everything but full, too full, of everything at the same time. Dull, but as a painful sort of sensation. Jagged edges,Continue reading “Retire the roller coaster analogy. This bullshit is a storm during hurricane season, a tornado in the midwest. Sucks no matter how you analogize it, though.”