medicated, still bipolar, what now

I’m having a hard time focusing. I’m anxious and stressed out over it. Feeling yucky. Off. Like somethings wrong but I can’t figure out what. The result is irritability and frustration. It’s overall just a dull version of what I’ve been feeling for the better half of my life (bipolar depression). But I have toContinue reading “medicated, still bipolar, what now”

𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨

Or perhaps there’s a better word than “emotional.” It’s been a period full of quiet mornings and peaceful cups of coffee drank on my front steps as the world wakes up. It’s been a week of reading a good book, of existing in the realm of social media (mainly on tumblr, this week), and tryingContinue reading “𝐚𝐧 𝐞𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤 𝐨𝐫 𝐬𝐨”

It’s been weird.

A weird day. But like, also a weird month. And a hell of a year, don’t get me started on that, though. Life is just…Jesus, fuck, what even is life? What time is it? Five o’clock? No wonder. I’m overdue for an existential crisis. Last time I really dwelled on meaning of life for tooContinue reading “It’s been weird.”

Lithium is some heavy shit

I haven’t had blood work since I was in the hospital over three months ago. And it came to my attention last week how, umm, concerning that actually is. I’m on lithium, and I can go on about how I fucking LOVE that shit because I feel SO much less CRAZY than I have forContinue reading “Lithium is some heavy shit”

Three months.

It’s been three months since the psychiatric hospital. And it usually happens every three months. “It” being me losing my fucking mind. I feel it coming, just like I always do. I mean, I can handle it better now. I haven’t screamed, thrown myself into a wall, cut myself. But I’m too irritable to focus.Continue reading “Three months.”

A love letter to my lithium:

Dear Lithium: If I’m remembering correctly, people used you to stabilize their moods before they even realized you were the gold standard for doing so. Something to do with lithium mineral springs being used as treatment for “melancholia” by ancient Greeks/Romans. That’s pretty badass. I know I was worried about you at first (the wordContinue reading “A love letter to my lithium:”