enjoy the little things

Thought this quote was fitting because good little things are what’s getting me through the all-consuming boredom (things like fancy coffee from my own personal at-home cafe lol, finding and downloading and playing new games on my phone, infused water, and video calling my family♡ every day). I’m telling myself to focus on these awesomeContinue reading “enjoy the little things”

I wrote a list a while back about “how to know it’s coming on again” and hoooo boy does it feel accurate…but maybe I’ll think about the opposite now?

To review: How to know it’s coming on again: No matter what song I put on, it doesn’t feel right No matter where I go, it doesn’t feel homey or safe or okay So much dread The fact that I have to get through a whole day (and subsequently a whole night) feels like IContinue reading “I wrote a list a while back about “how to know it’s coming on again” and hoooo boy does it feel accurate…but maybe I’ll think about the opposite now?”

Happy things to appreciate 💙 (updates!)

Random acts of kindness 💕 Cloud watching ☁️ Giving something my all💯 The tippytap of my dog’s paws as he comes to me when I call him 🐾❣️ Family!! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 Fairytales about princesses and castles 🏰👑 Classic Disney movies °O° 📼 Waking up without an alarm ⏰ 🌅 Selfies when I’m really feeling myself 🤳🏻Continue reading “Happy things to appreciate 💙 (updates!)”

An unfinished piece about change…

A change is gonna come There is a vague dotted line connecting what was, what is, and what will be. This is a constant and inescapable truth. The line isn’t always straight. In fact, there are probably times when the dots are few and far between, and you can scarcely follow their path. Furthermore, theContinue reading “An unfinished piece about change…”

“We’re only given one spark of madness.”

I have this hooded denim vest that I stick all my pins and patches on. It’s fun to wear because it’s fun and colorful, and overall just an outward expression of who I am, how I feel in the inside. My favorite pin on there, as of lately, is an orange one with a RobinContinue reading ““We’re only given one spark of madness.””

Still some fight in me

My car has always been a sort of limbo; I wait here, time passing. I am not patient but still content to stay here listening to classical music (some of which I remember playing, years ago) that reminds me I have a past that was full of pain and torment but also of music andContinue reading “Still some fight in me”

A poem about my daily life that ends far too optimistically, but whatever…

She woke before seven, excitement abundant, still groggy but ready to thrive. She sprang out of bed (or did something like that); it was morning and she was alive! With a handful of pills and a few sips of water, she began with a plea to stay stable. Then came washing and dressing, while countingContinue reading “A poem about my daily life that ends far too optimistically, but whatever…”

What Brings Me Down vs What Fills Me Up

I am 20 years old. I am walking around Stony Brook University, meandering through the buildings, wandering aimlessly across the expansive campus in the pouring rain. I’m drenched from my hair in its high ponytail right down to my purple plaid converse sneakers, but I keep walking. I could be in class; I should beContinue reading “What Brings Me Down vs What Fills Me Up”

How do you expel sadness? How do you chase it away? How do you take the sadness that has crept into your being and, graciously or not, show it to the exit? How do you repair the wall that sadness tore down, and how do you ready yourself for its next intrusion? How do youContinue reading

Conversations with myself:

—Apparently, there is hope. I can reclaim my moods as my own, combat the suffocating anxiety, and subsequently take control of my life. In theory, at least. It doesn’t seem likely, but I’ve been told so many times recently that there is hope. I’ve been told it repeatedly. The people saying it have such confidenceContinue reading “Conversations with myself:”