Happy things to appreciate 💙 (updates!)

Random acts of kindness 💕 Cloud watching ☁️ Giving something my all💯 The tippytap of my dog’s paws as he comes to me when I call him 🐾❣️ Family!! 👨‍👩‍👧‍👧 Fairytales about princesses and castles 🏰👑 Classic Disney movies °O° 📼 Waking up without an alarm ⏰ 🌅 Selfies when I’m really feeling myself 🤳🏻Continue reading “Happy things to appreciate 💙 (updates!)”

It was dark. The only light in the room was coming off the clock on the nightstand, which indicated that it was 4:02am by way of a dull blue glow. It was too fucking early. And too fucking dark. And cold. Fuck the cold. Insomnia ravaged her. Again. The grunting snores of her boyfriend, fastContinue reading

Thoughts become things, so choose them wisely: a platitude that I’m finding particularly relevant lately

Bipolar and the senses

So last year, or maybe it was two years ago, I was sitting cross-legged on my bed, laptop propped up against a pillow, listening to Duel of the Fates from the Star Wars prequels on repeat. I remember it rather vividly. I’d had a huge mental breakdown the night before, where my then best friendContinue reading “Bipolar and the senses”

An unfinished piece about change…

A change is gonna come There is a vague dotted line connecting what was, what is, and what will be. This is a constant and inescapable truth. The line isn’t always straight. In fact, there are probably times when the dots are few and far between, and you can scarcely follow their path. Furthermore, theContinue reading “An unfinished piece about change…”

“We’re only given one spark of madness.”

I have this hooded denim vest that I stick all my pins and patches on. It’s fun to wear because it’s fun and colorful, and overall just an outward expression of who I am, how I feel in the inside. My favorite pin on there, as of lately, is an orange one with a RobinContinue reading ““We’re only given one spark of madness.””

How are names, a Harry Potter quote, exorcisms, and mental health related? Well I’m glad you asked…read on:

I think it’s obvious to anyone reading this that I have a natural affinity for words. Finding vocabulary that fits certain feelings I want to convey, finding phrases and linking them with other phrases that capture the essence of a particular topic, grouping sentences that are applicable to certain experiences together with one another…I fuckingContinue reading “How are names, a Harry Potter quote, exorcisms, and mental health related? Well I’m glad you asked…read on:”

Still some fight in me

My car has always been a sort of limbo; I wait here, time passing. I am not patient but still content to stay here listening to classical music (some of which I remember playing, years ago) that reminds me I have a past that was full of pain and torment but also of music andContinue reading “Still some fight in me”

A poem about my daily life that ends far too optimistically, but whatever…

She woke before seven, excitement abundant, still groggy but ready to thrive. She sprang out of bed (or did something like that); it was morning and she was alive! With a handful of pills and a few sips of water, she began with a plea to stay stable. Then came washing and dressing, while countingContinue reading “A poem about my daily life that ends far too optimistically, but whatever…”

End of my rope, what now?

Here we go again. I barely had the chance to catch my breath but here we fucking go again. It came on quickly, and for no reason, and now I’m trapped in the cage that is my existence with nothing to do but pathetically wait for it to leave me alone…hopefully it eventually will. RageContinue reading “End of my rope, what now?”