in-between

I don’t know if I’m in a bad mood or not. I feel shitty. Mopey. But not depressed. The super fucking confusing to me. And upsetting. But it’s manageable. But it’s annoying and I don’t like it. But it isn’t paralyzing me. Why is existing still something I have to feel guilty about? I’m confused.Continue reading “in-between”

hit the brain jackpot, that’s for sure

I was thinking, and I’ve decided that morning routines aren’t easily attainable for people with adhd (like me) who struggle with jumping from one task to another. BUT. they’re super necessary for people with bipolar disorder (like me again!) who have a messed up circadian rhythm and could benefit from structure and routine to counteract the chaos theyContinue reading “hit the brain jackpot, that’s for sure”

It’s been weird.

A weird day. But like, also a weird month. And a hell of a year, don’t get me started on that, though. Life is just…Jesus, fuck, what even is life? What time is it? Five o’clock? No wonder. I’m overdue for an existential crisis. Last time I really dwelled on meaning of life for tooContinue reading “It’s been weird.”

It’s okay if all you did today was breathe ♡

I guess I had a decent day. I had a good morning, anyway. I claimed this week’s unemployment, I got some stuff done for a magazine I help out with by reviewing article submissions. But I dunno. I didn’t make the bed. I didn’t write as much as I wanted to. I feel unfocused. It’sContinue reading “It’s okay if all you did today was breathe ♡”

Today is not a lost cause

I was listening to a meditation podcast in my car this morning and I made a mental note of something it said that I thought was important. “Balance is a moving target.” It depends on so many different factors that all change all the time. Balancing it all requires different things at different times. ItContinue reading “Today is not a lost cause”

Quarantine Update

I didn’t make the bed today. I did yesterday. And the day before. I’d made the bed pretty much every day since getting home from the mental hospital, since I discovered for the first time in fourteen years what it feels like to be unburdened, to be free from constant depression and anxiety and chaotic,Continue reading “Quarantine Update”