How to know it’s coming on again (short version)

No matter what song I put on, it doesn’t feel right No matter where I go, it doesn’t feel homey or safe or okay So much dread The fact that I have to get through a whole day (and subsequently a whole night) feels like I have to scale a mountain “Life hurts” I’m overwhelmedContinue reading “How to know it’s coming on again (short version)”

Visiting Insanity

Lately, my brain and my meds have been in the middle of an intense tug-of-war game.  They’re battling it out to see if I’m gonna inch closer to crazy and then fall off the edge, or continue for a few more months on stable, solid ground. So I whipped out some old writing (I wasContinue reading “Visiting Insanity”

Manic

“Do you remember When you were young And you wanted to Set the world on fire” These lyrics hit me square in the stomach whenever my music shuffles to this song.  I remember so vividly listening to these words on last year’s hot summer days, filled to the brim with hot-blooded passion.  I was nothingContinue reading “Manic”

Fridays are for coffee and anxiety (and possibly overthinking?)

Reviewing my week over another cup of my lifeblood…hoping this type of analysis does NOT fall into the negative category with overthinking   Am I the only one that thinks it was a long fuckin’ week? I don’t even know why.  I’m sitting here thinking back on the last five days, having to really strainContinue reading “Fridays are for coffee and anxiety (and possibly overthinking?)”

Wrote a thing for a cool Eating Disorders magazine…they posted some of what I wrote…here’s the link and then the rest of what wasn’t posted:

Laura: Free From the Forces that Knock Us Down It sometimes still hurts to think back to when my eating disorder started and on the subsequently dark, cold, painful years that followed.  It was a time I didn’t think there was anything else for me besides the harsh realities of anorexia. A time I wouldn’tContinue reading “Wrote a thing for a cool Eating Disorders magazine…they posted some of what I wrote…here’s the link and then the rest of what wasn’t posted:”

Certain perceptions of bipolar, and why I feel some people actually view it as something good, something special, an accomplishment, something they wish they could say they had:

I’m open about everything in my life (I’m proud of who I am as a person and what I’ve learned throughout my life and I see no need to hide most things). Some people say I’m too open (like my boss, who pries in order to get information but then goes back and rudely remindsContinue reading “Certain perceptions of bipolar, and why I feel some people actually view it as something good, something special, an accomplishment, something they wish they could say they had:”

Reading through some old writing and found this speech thing I wrote for when I was a guest at an eating disorders conference…sharing it here bc I really enjoy it!

Hi everybody! So…my name is Laura, and I am quite a lot of things. I’m a Disney expert, for starters. I’m also an enthusiastic coffee-lover. I’m a self-declared writer, a huge fan of Harry Potter…and I’m also a recovered anorexic. There was a time when I never thought I’d be able to say that: “recoveredContinue reading “Reading through some old writing and found this speech thing I wrote for when I was a guest at an eating disorders conference…sharing it here bc I really enjoy it!”

If we did not have language

If we did not have language, if the words we continually mix and match together were to suddenly evaporate into the vacuum of inward-pointing nothingness, their meaning plucked from our awarenesses like grass pulled up by a toddler in her backyard…what would we be left with?  Unable to relate to one another, powerless to communicateContinue reading “If we did not have language”