So for the class I’m taking, we have to share our narratives. Our stories, our struggles, our hopes.

We talked this morning about how powerful it is to be vulnerable and how it’s sometimes difficult. I felt a bit disconnected from the conversation because I’m usually able to be vulnerable very easily. At least with other people. I’m good at relating to other people. I’m an open book, I know that I’m worthyContinue reading “So for the class I’m taking, we have to share our narratives. Our stories, our struggles, our hopes.”

So I’m taking a class on peer support and how to be an advocate for those who need it

It’s phenomenally interesting. There’s so much to learn about and read about and explore and discuss and ponder deeply. There’s also so much room for personal growth to happen throughout the training process. I was reading about the history of psychiatry and mental health systems and to cut out a lot of wordiness, I foundContinue reading “So I’m taking a class on peer support and how to be an advocate for those who need it”

good morning, I guess

four in the morning.too early, close your eyes again,wait. wait some more.four fifteen, close your eyes again,close them, keep them closed,fuck.eyes open, feet on the floor, hoodie pulled tight,good morning, I guess.grab phone, scroll apps,switch, scroll,switch, scroll,boredom,close apps, shut phone.change clothes in the dark.wash face.grab laptop, charger, book,and leave.coffee. need coffee.drive to shop, greet theContinue reading “good morning, I guess”

Follow my train of thought

I’ve been known to become somewhat aggressive. Well, I mean I doubt anyone knows me by that and that alone, not if they actually KNOW me, anyway. I’m this little thing and I try to be as nice as I can at all times. Especially to retail workers, but I’m not gonna get into that.Continue reading “Follow my train of thought”

Comparisons

June 29th: She was antsy. Crawling in her skin. Unsurprisingly agitated, although she hated to admit that, almost whole-heartedly refusing to believe what was happening, what was approaching. It was also unsurprising that she jumped when the thunder cracked right outside her window. She was just on edge. The noise wasn’t inherently scary; it wasContinue reading “Comparisons”

It’s been weird.

A weird day. But like, also a weird month. And a hell of a year, don’t get me started on that, though. Life is just…Jesus, fuck, what even is life? What time is it? Five o’clock? No wonder. I’m overdue for an existential crisis. Last time I really dwelled on meaning of life for tooContinue reading “It’s been weird.”

Lithium is some heavy shit

I haven’t had blood work since I was in the hospital over three months ago. And it came to my attention last week how, umm, concerning that actually is. I’m on lithium, and I can go on about how I fucking LOVE that shit because I feel SO much less CRAZY than I have forContinue reading “Lithium is some heavy shit”

Three months.

It’s been three months since the psychiatric hospital. And it usually happens every three months. “It” being me losing my fucking mind. I feel it coming, just like I always do. I mean, I can handle it better now. I haven’t screamed, thrown myself into a wall, cut myself. But I’m too irritable to focus.Continue reading “Three months.”