Weโre going to be hearing quite a lot about New Yearโs resolutions in the coming weeks, and Iโm personally preparing for it to stress me out and potentially impact my mental health.
I have no problem with resolutions in general. Thereโs nothing wrong with, and thereโs even value in, looking ahead to the future and thinking about goals and making plans to improve. Itโs just the way New Yearโs resolutions are considered a standard, something we absolutely must take part in.
Itโs almost as if weโre lazy if we donโt reach what we set out to reach from the resolutions we feel obligated to make. Not achieving something doesnโt make us lazy.
People also attach a high value to the โfresh startโ that January 1st provides but donโt consider the fact that when the clock strikes midnight on New Yearโs Eve, time continues like it always has. While itโs great to be optimistic and aim high, and it isnโt inherently unhealthy to hope that the brand new year will be different, we too often find weโve done nothing concrete to set out achieving our resolutions. This personally leads inevitably to me feeling like Iโve โfailedโ somehow.
I understand that an arbitrary fresh start can be super motivating. I just think we need to explore deeper within ourselves. If weโre imagining getting motivated once the near year has finally officially begun, I think weโd benefit from asking ourselves why weโre waiting and what we think will be different after the 1st. Or rather, we should figure out how weโre going to make it different.
Itโs also the fact that โresolutionโ by definition means to make a firm choice to do something or to not do something. When I think about making firm decisions, I think of the rigid and unhealthy rules my eating disorder laid out for me. It just feels too similar.
Perhaps those without eating disordered tendencies feel differently about rigidity, and I respect that. However, I also question the logic and encourage self-awareness.
On that note, I find New Yearโs resolutions are rarely about mental health improvement and instead focus on cliche ideas of productivity or the unattainable concept of perfection. In this way, resolutions seem to set me up for failure.
One major con is that the reasoning behind a resolution gets lost when youโre too zoomed in. The big picture is hard enough to keep in mind when weโre going through daily life and trying to do our best each day. To be laser-focused on one thing might distract from the fact that youโre doing your best. The truth is, we donโt need to measure success based on singular, particular things.
Another is that resolutions can lead to unhealthy competition. Iโve noticed that conversations about New Yearโs goals in the beginning of January stress me out because I wind up comparing what Iโm aiming for with what other people are aiming for. And I could swear Iโve been part of conversations where it feels like everyoneโs actually trying to one-up each other. Itโs never healthy for me to compare my goals with someone elseโs; I go at my own pace and Iโve learned to be happy with that.
Even as I type this, though, a piece of my brain is contemplating what I might want to resolve to do or not do in 2021. Iโm someone whoโs dedicated to personal growth and improvement. Itโs important to me to be better tomorrow than I was today.
So do I make resolutions? Do I continue trying to be better tomorrow but without the pressure of specific resolutions? Do I make them but modify them?
A pro to resolutions is that they help us focus on what we want. If I were to go without setting a resolution, it might leave me feeling uncertain about what I want to accomplish this year. By contrast, focusing on something specific, writing it down, and revisiting it, will most likely motivate me to achieve it. Itโs a less passive process than simply having a feeling of what you want to do.
Another is they help you manifest what you want. Iโm not hugely spiritual, and as much as I think the Law Of Attraction is fascinating to think about, I donโt live by it. But I truly think thereโs something to โmanifesting something into existence.โ It goes back to being focused on a specific thing. If โget a promotionโ is on your mind, youโll be doing more things to put yourself in a place to be promoted.
Also, it feels really good to see your resolutions actualized. Iโd hate to be negative or make a blanket statement that New Yearโs resolutions all go unfulfilled (thatโs just not true). And on that note, Iโd hate to ignore the fact that not everyone is intimidated by their concept. For those who find them helpful, having set resolutions is great because it makes it feel that much better to do what you set out to do. If youโre one of those people, go make things happen and enjoy the spoils of your hard work! (If youโre not, thatโs fine too)
One last thought I have is that whatever you choose to do, itโs perfectly fine to want to coast through 2021. It doesnโt make you less than if you canโt bring yourself to resole anything. Weโre coming out of a year of pure chaos, weโre allowed to just exist. Youโre also allowed to set the bar high. Just take care of your mental health regardless.
