I journal obsessively, whenever I can, wherever I can

I basically like, HAVE to. I have to get the words out, the thoughts out, the feelings out in a way that makes some semblance of sense. And the thing is that it’s usually always all confusing and messy, so I have to MAKE it make sense. Straight-up forging meaning out of nothing. Well, not nothing. But like, out of chaos.

Anyway. I have physical notebooks (tons of them). I always have. But I also journal digitally. I guess it started when I got my first iPad. I have journals upon journals in goodnotes (that are now all uploaded to my phone). I went through a microsoft onenote phase, so I have all those journals too. And then I just have years worth of entries from the notes app on my phone. I love having every thought I’ve ever had with me at all times on my fuckin phone, it’s the coolest thing to me. Oh, and then there’s google docs for like essays and bigger entries.

I’m currently using notion. I feel like every youtuber I watch is big into notion these days. I don’t know if I was using it before it exploded in the realm of influencers, but either way, it’s cool seeing videos on it specifically, because I like seeing people customizing it.

But like…that’s not the point of this blogpost, actually. It’s related, I guess. Because I think using different mediums to journal promotes creativity. And this notion site is allowing me to really lean into the creativity thing.

My point, though, is that I’ve had a lot of thoughtssssss lately, and it’s overwhelming. Maybe it’s just that LIFE is overwhelming (it objectively is, like, you can’t argue with that fact, tbh). But it’s more than that. I keep facing philosophical dilemmas and being plagued by existential crises. It is nonnnnnstop.

Like why are we here. What is the purpose of all this? Is my life meaningful? I’d say all life is meaningful by default, but that’s not what I mean when I ask that question, really.

I keep track of these random tremendous thoughts and questions and predicaments somewhere on one of my journaling apps (or in a paper notebook, obv). But now even that’s not enough. What good does it do for me to explore these deep fucking ideas if the ideas just rot in a journal app on my phone.

I don’t know where I’m going with this lol. I also don’t know where I’m going in life, but I’m actually less concerned with the latter because it’s just too big an issue to focus on. Like I said earlier. Overwhelming.

Probably not healthy to ignore that looming question of WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE. But maybe if I find the meaning of existence, life will give me a free pass in the career department. Who knows.

Published by ittakesrain

|| It takes rain to make a rainbow!

2 thoughts on “I journal obsessively, whenever I can, wherever I can

  1. I have been on the same predicament. As someone who overthinks, I got too scared of how my thoughts were coming in my mind like fast cars and there were so many, as in that thought I couldn’t control it. There was this one time that I couldn’t even sleep because I was thinking about how I would do if I decorated my apartment, and believe me, my mind just went through and did the whole decoration by itself the whole night– I didn’t know how to stop. Lol. But I am better now. I learned that thoughts are simply, just thoughts and that they are meant to wander, and so I made peace with it. I think it’s good that you’re thinking about these things and that you’re finding a way to handle them down, journaling can really be helpful. I use Notion too and it has been amazing especially for organizing the things on my blog, and some student related works. Thank you for sharing. 🙂

    Like

    1. Racing thoughts are the worsttttt at night haha because they definitely keep you up, yeah. It’s good to think of thoughts as coming and going, like you said. Clouds, or whatever else you wanna imagine them as (I heard clouds for a mindful approach to thoughts lol). Journaling is life saving!! Anytime I know or talk to someone who’s struggling I tell them to journal!!!

      Liked by 1 person

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