I’ve run out of lengthy and thought-provoking analogies. I burned through my stores of them too quickly. All my favorite comparisons are now hackneyed and overused. Bipolar can be understood as the weather, it’s ever changing, we get it. The mood swings can also be likened to the ebbs and flows of the ocean. Yeah yeah yeah, so poetic. First of all, neither of those even capture the depth of it, but whatever, ocean. Tell me something I don’t know. I recently heard one that explained how mania and depression are like the north and south poles of the planet, and the equator is like the elusive baseline. That makes sense to some extent but doesn’t go on to explain the mercurial nature of the thing. Like what, we can’t find any maps? How hard could it possibly be to find the latitudinal middle? Oh, and let’s not forget the most popular one. Roller coasters. Yes, we get that the dramatic ups and downs are oh so similar to the amusement park attraction, the thrilling, exhilarating, sometimes terrifying ride. They skyrocket to peaks like frenetic mania, they plummet down to the ground as if it’s depression incarnate and you’re gonna crash into it at full speed. The ride is exhausting yet simultaneously makes you feel alive. Only problem is you’re stuck on the thing forever. Lap bar stuck. Cycle on repeat and there ain’t no getting off. Okay, I happen to really like that one.
Either way, I’ve run out of analogies. And unfortunately, this happened way sooner than is ideal, because I’m gonna need a hell of a lot more of them to write my way through this god-forsaken disorder for the rest of my damn life.
So I’m left here without the best weapon in my arsenal trying to figure out the difference between normal sadness and the first warning signs of depression as they inch closer to me before it breaking into a sprint. I need my tools to make sense of this nonsense. I need my words. I need them to work their way from my head out onto the openness of a blank page or screen and arrange themselves in orderly yet artistic paragraphs that help me make sense of the chaos that left me bereft of the analogies in the first place.