You make your way to the end of the day, struggling to move forward against the opposing forces like trying to run in neck-deep water. You finally make it, collapsing restlessly into bed, and feel no sense of accomplishment. No accomplishment. Such a feeling is necessary for every human being; it makes the struggles worthwhile and spreads pride throughout the space around a person. But it’s fairly high up on then Hierarchy of Needs, and you’re still struggling with the bottom three levels. So you go on believing that it’s shameful to simply have survived. You think you are pathetic. You feel incapable.
More than being a shitty way to feel, this notion is flat-out incorrect. You are so, so wrong. You are far from pathetic, more than capable. Your accomplishments are very real and absolutely valid.
For you are a survivor of the bad days, all of them. You’ve gotten through every single one o them, despite the sheer amount of them. You’ve trudged through the muck of “I don’t feel right,” you’ve shambled across fields of “something is wrong but I don’t know what,” you’ve been drenched in the rain falling from the clouds forever overhead and still made it into the following day. It was indescribably hard, but it is done now. And on some days, you even smashed through the wall of garbage, scaled the mountain of distress and admired the view from its peak. You did that, too, so dammit be proud!
You are a warrior of the repeated fluctuations. You are a ninja-in-training, learning from each successive episode, wielding new weapons each time, practicing new maneuvers, both offensive and defensive. You are a soldier in combat, working to improve your skills for the battles that lie ahead. Because yes, the war will be a long one, and yes, you won’t be winning every step of the day, but you’re going to march on and on, because you ARE a warrior. You never had a choice, but you wouldn’t have chosen anything else anyway.
You are a navigator of the ups and downs, adept at reading the sprawling map of moods and behaviors and thoughts and symptoms. You are an avid explorer. You take in the landscapes you are dropped into (willingly or not) and document what you see for the next batch of explorers that will inevitably follow. You are blazing the trail.
You are a captain of the ship that has sailed the seas of chaos and turmoil. You have guided it to lands near and far, and you’re kept it floating despite cannon blasts and invading pirates. More than that, you’ve repaired the damage, repeatedly, and you’ve done so with materials of increasing value. You have drifted through all bodies of water, you’ve weathered storms, you’ve overcome wave after wave after wave. You’ve done that!
You have walked the winding path, hiked up the treacherous trails, marked your territory, and came back down. Even if you lost your footing and slid halfway there, profess is progress. Movement is movement. You are getting yourself there, no matter how scraped you are getting.
You are a fighter of the internal struggle. You are able to piece together the puzzle of confusion. You are able to rip apart the muddled-up memories from the overarching truth, and you are working toward self-awareness, always. You use introspection to problem solve. You are on a continual quest of self-improvement. You are getting better. You are growing in all the ways hat matter.
You are queen of working hard and renewing motivation and diving into your passions as often and as fully as possible. You wear a crown of jewels that says in ornate cursive “I push myself because I have to.”
You make sense of things that don’t make sense. You search meaning, you find purpose. You forge a deep-seated understanding of whatever you can.
You are the architect of your thoughts. You are a builder of your own world. You are powerful.
Your accomplishment need not be tainted by your depressions. It isn’t necessary to pollute your wins with gloom and negativities.
You can conquer, you have conquered.
You’re inspirational as fuck, so look in the mirror and come to realize that fact.