A rather optimistic view of the ups and downs, if I do say so myself…written a while ago…posting it here because why not

They call it descending into madness.

Descent…sloping downward, dropping, falling.  The movement is in a single direction. The connotation is a negative one.

And then we have madness…the state of being mentally ill, insanity, in a state of frenzied chaos.  Crazy. I could go on forever with this one.

A person can’t un-drop, can’t un-fall.  There can be a rise, an ascent, but you’ll still have dropped, still have fallen.  The descent cannot be erased, and good luck trying to forget it.

Because when madness is the destination, it stays with you.  Even when you leave, moving on to better, less terrifying destinations, the things you saw and felt and experienced in madness stay with you.  You can ignore them. You can push the memories away. But then when you least expect it, they come rushing back. Tackle you. And you fall.

And you descend.

Look.  There’s no working against it.  It isn’t worth it, you can’t do it and win.  You’ve seen madness, after all.

The only hope is to work with it.  Embrace the madness as part of your history, and part of your future, but never let it be the only part of your history or your future.  Throw your hands back as you descend, maybe let out a laugh, because what else are you going to do? It sucks, but you’ve done this before.  You know it’s gonna end. It’s just a ride. No matter how exhausting it is to be stuck on it, it’s just a ride.

You can rise, you can ascend.  Yes you’ve still dropped and you’ve still fallen, but aren’t you stronger because of it?  Aren’t you lucky to have had the view of the ground rushing at you, the world speeding past you, and to be up and alive and breathing right now?  It’s been worse but doesn’t that make it better now?

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||Coffee enthusiast, lover of books, Disney fanatic, planner addict. I like inspirational quotes, stationary and pens and stickers, taking/saving pictures of things that make me happy, and writing about nonsense. Rainbows are my favorite things. I think tattoos are awesome, and I want to get more. I'm going to publish a book about my having conquered anorexia one day. || I am here to properly document the lessons I'm learning as I journey to self-fulfillment. I'm trying to figure out my life, which is proving to be tougher than I thought it would be. But I'm determined to find the positive in this situation. And I will not settle for anything less than happiness and success. || It takes rain to make a rainbow!

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