The sky is clear above the window I’m looking out of right now. It’s a pale blue. There are maybe one or two puffy, innocent-looking clouds scattered around, but I’m pretty sure the forecast is for sunshine all day. Thank goodness. I love days like this. I mean, it’s freezing, but it’s bright. So I have this feeling of safety and excitement, I guess because it’s the time of year when we know spring is coming. It’ll be here soon-ish, and when it comes so many other good things will accompany it. And for now, I know today’s gonna be a good day.
Not sure why I’ve been starting my writing by describing the weather. I’ve definitely done that quite a few times lately. It just feels like a good place to start though. Probably because it heavily impacts my moods? Which impacts everythinggggg which includes how I write?
Anyway, I’m sitting here with my coffee and easing into my day because I’m lucky enough to not have to jump out of bed and immediately get my ass to a job. (I mean I do need a better job than what I currently have, but all in good time I guess. I’m not gonna let my brain wander toward those thoughts because they’re so unpleasant ugh!) I’m scrolling social media, responding to notifications and such, flicking through my to-do lists for the day, etc. I’m just trying to get myself together, really. I have lots of random ideas floating through my head. I want to grab a few and latch ’em down. Save them for later when I can really help them grow and flower. Or potentially work on them now. I dunno. My point is that in this kind of meditative morning state, I need to organize my mind. I think I it’ll help set me up for the good day I know I’m going to have.
There’s so much I want to do, though. I’m dying to jump into it all. But I also simultaneously have trouble jumping into anything, even things I know I enjoy. I love reading. But to sit down and read a book is difficult. Well, starting to read it is difficult. But then I get sucked in and I’m good to go. The beginning is always the hardest, I guess?
Like there’s this poet I’m loving now. I found one of his books at Five Below believe it or not, and it was so like. Powerful. And I don’t normally enjoy reading poetry. Some types are great but a lot of times I just can’t get into it. This guy though, he’s such a wanderlust and so passionate about life and every little beautiful thing that makes it up. It’s amazing. I’m not a wanderlust myself necessary; reading about traveling is enough for me in most cases. It still sparks interest for me though. I have two of his books in physical form and he just published a new one that cake out yesterday. And I got the ebook. I can’t wait to read it.
There’s also a ton of fan fiction I want to read!! Because I’ve always loved the concept of fanfics. I really respect fic writers. Taking characters that already exist and writing them in new scenes and doing things fans want them to do, but keeping them in character and true to what we all already know and love about them? That shit it tricky. Plus, I read the fics about girl characters being in love with each other. I love shipping girls together (it relates to my sexuality which is an interesting story, I’m sure I’ll explain that on here at some point).
I need to listen to some podcasts. Particularly my favorite Disney podcast (wdw radio, I’m obsessedddd). It makes me feel connected to the place I call my Home away from home. My happy place! Oh man, now that I’m typing it out, I miss it so much. I need to go back. Maybe I’ll make myself feel extra happy by writing Disney stories. God knows I have tons of them!
I mean I’ll probably have enough time to do all this. I have therapy in like an hour and then I have about two hours from when that’s over til I have to go to work.
Aaaaanyway, I’m really just keyboard-smashing for myself right now. There’s really nothing major I have to or want to say other than what I’ve said already. But hey, this blog can be whatever I want it to be. And today it’s a journal, apparently. Haha